This Telegraph headline is remarkably coy. Although supposedly designed not to shock, this particular example had me trawling through the dregs of my vocabulary for a rude word that would fit. Ironic that (note to self: is there an irony emoji? must get up to speed on that).
Couldn't find a rude word to fit. But actually it was printed full out in the main article.*
Apcoa wanted me to use this code to pay for my parking. I thought it started with 1. My stupid or theirs? A tad more space please.
Actually I think it needs more than a tad, which I take to be usually no more than 10-20% extra space. Typographic technical terms can easily confuse... for example, 'just a tad' is sarcastic, and is actually larger than a tad.
This blog is temporarily converting to a consumer review site (today only).
I just bought a new door bell - not just any door bell. Because both of us work in outbuildings, we kept missing callers, and wireless door bells didn't have enough range. This one is wifi connected, so it rings on your phone wherever you are. And then there's a camera and a mike.
So a builder called while I was in Birmingham, and I could speak to him. Freaked him out when my voice appeared, but we got over that. Actually, this looks like being an issue with some of the other brands which have very obvious cameras, but just don't look like door bells. This one is branded 'ring', which also works as an instruction, of course.
It's very expensive for a door bell but brilliant. And what branding people call the 'out of box experience' was great too.
They gave me all the tools I need, down to the bubble thing to make sure I installed it level. And the app was equally good.
After being called off my sick bed to answer the door to chuggers from the Battersea Dogs Home (this is Somerset, for goodness sake), and then again to an 'art student' who couldn't speak any English but had translated cue cards for every response he thought he was getting...
I thought I'd put up a polite notice saying please don't...
You can buy them online:
- Paper not wanted: Leaflets, flyers, advertisements, menus, junk mail.
- People not wanted: Sales people, charities, religious people, cold callers.
- Consequences: dogs, police, trading standards, prosecution.
Highlights of this collection for me include:
'Strictly addressed mail only' (write your own dominatrix quip).
'We don't need any advice'.
'Please leave and do not return'
What would a polite brush-off look like? I don't want to seem rude.